'The issue with the communicate meme is that it isn’t true. It is built on the lie that if you just express yourself correctly, the other person will interpret you correctly' nice 👍
I think this is a problem of some people getting the opposite advice than the advice they need to hear. The message that relationships require communication is meant for people who are very bad at communicating clearly, or who don’t communicate much at all and in practice expect mind reading. It’s not for people who obsessively write multiple drafts of texts. But on social media it’s just blasted out to everyone.
it's so forking fun reading someone with a loosely held courage of convictions combined with a meandering spaciousness that the whole convictions thing is a bit of a funhouse so let's have some fun in there. I love that you used this app as a frame to dig into What The Actual Fuck genuine intimacy is, versus transactional relating where we pander about in sexy town to see if anyone wants to pretend to relate today? Anyone? I'm 47, married and in the first devoted love story of my life. The moves we make in our marriage are relaxed due to devotion and it helps the jumpy wounded bits find snacks and things to do (my kid says "give shame and ipad and go out and play") while we become whole within the play of love. I think maybe it's a matter of aim? Like, do you actually want to know yourself, be known and loved, or something else? If something else, O;ively seems it will do nicely. I wish I had this when I was younger and shittier because it seems kind of fun.
You taking down communication is like Q Tarantino taking down Bruce Lee in that movie. Whoa, no one ever did that before! And the idea that communication alone is so special reminds me of the movie Max something that shows Hitler as a young guy coming up, and the whole thing is the nascent party loves him because he has a real knack for public speaking, he can communicate forcefully. Wow, what a gift! Put the lunatic in charge of everything! Better that he’d had bedrock with goodness. I like the bedrock idea. You should explore more what that is. Maybe it’s like the life of the relationship, as in a mysterious third thing, and the quality of it. There’s you there’s me and then there’s this thing we have between us, this relationship. And if that thing is of good character, it’s like bedrock that everything else can be built on. I like bedrock. Thanks.
I’m genuinely not sure if this app actually exists or if you made it up to prove a point. I *could* google “Olively” to find out, but it’s far more intriguing not knowing. Well done.
The irony of this is that I've read this article twice and can't stop thinking about it because you communicated something that I feel but don't know how to express. Which is why writing matters. But to be fair, It's also true that I've never actually gotten laid specifically BY being good at writing? Although there is a first time for everything.
'The issue with the communicate meme is that it isn’t true. It is built on the lie that if you just express yourself correctly, the other person will interpret you correctly' nice 👍
Olively always warns me than your posts might send me into a 10/10 Idolization Spiral
I think this is a problem of some people getting the opposite advice than the advice they need to hear. The message that relationships require communication is meant for people who are very bad at communicating clearly, or who don’t communicate much at all and in practice expect mind reading. It’s not for people who obsessively write multiple drafts of texts. But on social media it’s just blasted out to everyone.
it's so forking fun reading someone with a loosely held courage of convictions combined with a meandering spaciousness that the whole convictions thing is a bit of a funhouse so let's have some fun in there. I love that you used this app as a frame to dig into What The Actual Fuck genuine intimacy is, versus transactional relating where we pander about in sexy town to see if anyone wants to pretend to relate today? Anyone? I'm 47, married and in the first devoted love story of my life. The moves we make in our marriage are relaxed due to devotion and it helps the jumpy wounded bits find snacks and things to do (my kid says "give shame and ipad and go out and play") while we become whole within the play of love. I think maybe it's a matter of aim? Like, do you actually want to know yourself, be known and loved, or something else? If something else, O;ively seems it will do nicely. I wish I had this when I was younger and shittier because it seems kind of fun.
You taking down communication is like Q Tarantino taking down Bruce Lee in that movie. Whoa, no one ever did that before! And the idea that communication alone is so special reminds me of the movie Max something that shows Hitler as a young guy coming up, and the whole thing is the nascent party loves him because he has a real knack for public speaking, he can communicate forcefully. Wow, what a gift! Put the lunatic in charge of everything! Better that he’d had bedrock with goodness. I like the bedrock idea. You should explore more what that is. Maybe it’s like the life of the relationship, as in a mysterious third thing, and the quality of it. There’s you there’s me and then there’s this thing we have between us, this relationship. And if that thing is of good character, it’s like bedrock that everything else can be built on. I like bedrock. Thanks.
i need this app. and i'd pay for so many other people's subscriptions.
Family plan!
I’m genuinely not sure if this app actually exists or if you made it up to prove a point. I *could* google “Olively” to find out, but it’s far more intriguing not knowing. Well done.
Ha thank you! (though tbh, I do not have the patience to fake screenshots like that)
The irony of this is that I've read this article twice and can't stop thinking about it because you communicated something that I feel but don't know how to express. Which is why writing matters. But to be fair, It's also true that I've never actually gotten laid specifically BY being good at writing? Although there is a first time for everything.
Algorithm your way into intimacy. Scary - I never knew these apps existed. Perhaps my wife is already using them on me...
Oh, yes, another overthinking app! Thank god.